siesta

Afternoons are probably the worst time to try doing anything productive, particularly on a Sunday. The way the sun is shinning through my window, I can’t seem to get my ass off my bed and do anything. The Filipino in me want to just keep sleeping, it reminded me of the time when I was little, our house in Palawan is on a mountain, so during he afternoon when the sun was shinning the most, everyone just lounged around at home having their marienda, watching TV, or sleeping…basically it was way too hot to do anything that involves leaving your spot for more than a 3meter radius.  I know it’s not too hot right now, but still, the sun in the afternoon always makes me soo lazy when I’m indoors.

Speaking of sunshine, Denmark  has been experiencign good weather lately, I don’t want to jinx anything, but I’m pretty sure this won’t last too long. I’m not being pesssemistic, it’s just how it works here. But yeah, it’s been soo nice lately, for what? 3 weeks the weather has been awesome and when it does go away, I’m gonna miss it soo much.

For now, I’m gonna keep lying in bed doing absolutley nothing.

boxes

I haven’t blogged in quite some time, but I have a good excuse. I finally moved in!! yeah well I moved in 5 months ago, but a couple of days ago I finally managed to get all my stuff from storage to my apartment.. So I’ve been busy sorting things out or get caught up reading old magazines. Anyways, it’s nice to have my things back, I’m not living off a suitcase anymore! Plus I have more things to do now.. but at the same time most of my things reminds me of the boarding school. I’ve had my fair share of not so nice memories there, but the good memories haii.. yeah, I miss my old friends, those 3 years I spent living there was awesome.. While looking at pictures and things as little as scissors and a left handed glove, I can’t help but feel this lump in my throat.  I don’t have that many close friends due to my constant moving, but yeah, the boarding school made up for it, we were each other friends, brothers/sisters, and occasionally  parents

Oh, I hate being nostalgic…

Living alone fears/concerns

Before I moved into my own apartment I had some concerns, for now I’ve only done/experienced a couple.

-Something catching on fire.
I really like those scenty thingy’s with the oil and 3 hour candles and I’m scared one of these days I forget to turn it off before going to bed or leaving for school. So far, it hasn’t happened yet.

-Leaving the stove on
Urgh, this was one of the things I was soo paranoid about that one day I’d leave it on. And I did, BUT it was right after I made food, so when I went to the other room to eat it I forgot to turn it off. So when I went back to the kitchen it was sooo hot and smelt kinda funky then saw the stove still open. ?!?!?!??!??!?!. Yeah, thankfully nothing bad happened.

-Leaving the fridge open
This has happened soo many times.

-Passing out/Die and no one would know.
You know, when you’re living all by yourself and with no close friends in the same city, I’m so scared one day I’d pass our or die and my body wouldn’t be discovered until I get evicted for not paying my bills for soo long. Freaky yeah?

-Psycho killers

I’ve seen enough Asian horror movies to put weird ideas in my head. What if there’s this person who goes on a killing rampage.. and breaks into my place and kills me? No matter how much I scream by the time anyone notices I’d be dead!

-While in the toilet someone knocks on the door.
This hasn’t happened to me yet, since no one really knock on my door.

-Forgetting to lock the door.
Automatic locks in the boarding school made me ignore locking doors, so sometimes when I leave the my apartment I find myself climbing up the stairs again to check if I did lock the door. I’ve never left it unlock yet… I think?

-Fridge
See, I’m not good with expiry dates, I mean sure if it’s expired I wont eat/drink it, but since the whole recycling things right, I can’t just throw it in the trash. Solution: leave it in the fridge until the smell gets unbearable. Until this one time where I had about 3 cartons of milk and I almost drank out of the one which has been in my fridge way past it’s expiry date.

-Clogged toilets.
I don’t know how to unplug plus I don’t have a plunger. Thankfully I have good pipes ?

-No one to run to when something bad/scary happens.
I remember one time there was this REALLY loud explosion outside, flash of light and a car driving away really fast. I got soo freaked out I started shaking, I wanted to go run to my neighbours, but yeah, we’re not that close so I decided to lie in bed, fetal position.

This is all I could think of for now, if you have any more things to be freaked out about, tell me. Add to my paranoia.

fine.. i’m fine.

So, I have a couple of days left here in the island. It’s bittersweet. I want to leave but at the same time I don’t want to face the “real” life that awaits me in Denmark. I want to leave because I feel like I’ve already out grown Puerto and the people. I only have 2 people here that I’d be really sad leaving. Which is yeah.. sad. But at the same time I can finally let go of this little island and live whatever life in Denmark is going to offer me.

But secretly, I still hope my flight gets cancelled so I don’t have to come back for a looooong time.

blogging diarrhea

 

All this free time I have right now is not doing me any good. I haven’t really done anything productive other than kill some brain cells and sleep. But those rare moments I am awake and clear headed weird thoughts have been going through my mind

 

Have you ever wondered why you’re seeing your life through your eyes?

Ok, may sound really stupid, but think about everyone on this big ass planet and think of you as an individual. You’re living life through your eyes, not through your friend Johnny or Ann. I don’t know why it came as a shock to me the other day when I realized I’d have to be living my life through my eyes for as long as I’m on Earth. It freaked me out for a couple of seconds until I realized I couldn’t really switch bodies in the first place. Stupid. But yeah, it still made me think about, why in this body and why through these eyes??

 

In other thoughts, I’ve been thinking about my past. The decisions I made in the past, trying to categorize them as right decisions, mistakes, and regrets. There was this one thing of the past that came under the “regret” category, I’ve been thinking what if I didn’t make that decision back then, would I still be the same person I am now? But then, what would life be if I did otherwise? After half an hour I came to the conclusion that what’s done is done. Move on. Past is past. Etc….

 

What if I was born in a tribe? Like the ones that live deep in the jungle, going around top less, with really dark brown skin, having to catch my own food, live with the nature, and climb trees. It seems so simple. But then again, we’re living in the time of globalization and development, my tribe would probably be a tourist attraction with white people carrying metal cases pointing at me. OR be shooting helicopters, that try to take a picture of us, with a bow and arrow (haha… if you read/watch the news you’d know which tribe I’m talking about)

 

What if I didn’t go get that piercing and didn’t meet the person that made such a big difference in my life now, I wonder how different I would have been now.

edit: what’s done is done.

 

I watched this movie called Elephant the other day. It was a pretty interesting movie, it was a little confusing at first, then again I wasn’t really sober when I was watching it, so I might watch it again sober one of these days.

 

Which reminds me, I never really got to watch One Hour Photo as a whole movie. I either saw the beginning or the ending and I never really got the ending. With the photo of the 4 of them. Anyone care to explain this to me?

 

My new favorite food for now is a Fransk Hotdog.. Cheesedog with half ketchup and half chili. Ahh… I’ve been graving that for the past 2 weeks. Somehow I never got myself to walk down to the local grill or the gas station to satisfy my craving.

 now I shall slumber.

payday :)

So, today was payday. Got my paycheck from work and my government support money, I’m saving my gov. money for my summer vacation so I only spend my salary, which is nice because I don’t feel gulity when I shop as opposed with my dads money.

So, my friend and I went to our local beauty store and splurged on products. I’m a sucker for anything Clinique, it’s not a healthy addiction in term of my financial state, but I can’t help it. I like their products and my skin seems to like it as well, my Visa works exceptionally fine as well.. normally I have to wait about 5 seconds for the whole transaction to follow through but when I buy Clinique products it takes one second. Ok, that was really stupid. So, I pretty much blew my salary, I’m just waiting for my computer to be fixed and then I’ll put most of my money in a savings account far far away from my Visa.

Anyway, in other news, today I realized that I am a hazard to traffic. I almost got myself run over TWICE in one day on a bike. It was mostly due to my own stupidity, I didn’t see the car… it just appeared out of nowhere. The thing is, in traffic you can’t really defend yourself or explain your stupidity, you just have to deal with them giving you the finger when you meet at the traffic light. And that was with me on a bicycle what more a car. Any tips anyone?? So I won’t end up as road kill or killing people.

I also had another realization the other day while at work. I’ve been working for 3 days straight now and I’m hating it. It’s exhausting, waking up in the morning is harder than waking up to go to school. I seriously can’t imagine having to work for the rest of my life because unlike school where you can just skip classes, it’s work, you don’t show up=you get fired. I have a new found respect for those who work in the service industry, waking up in the morning knowing you’ll be cleaning toilet bowls, making beds, collecting trash, etc.. isn’t really one of those things that make you go “Geee.. I can’t wait to clean those supper cool toilet bowls!!!!”. Made me realize I better like what ever I’ll be doing with myself in the future. I really don’t want to be stuck in a job that I hate. That’s just too miserable. Reality however is different, it’s not always about what one wants but what one needs to survive in this overpriced world. This scares me, even though I’m 3-4 years away from actually full time emplyment, it’s still a terrifying thought.

 I started reading again, the last time I remember just lying in bed and reading in the middle of the day was back in 8th grade. It weird, now that I have all the time for doing anything, it’s so overwhelming sometimes. But yeah, it’s nice to be back reading again. Right now I’m reading a bunch of books on Influence. It’s pretty interesting and I’m learning a few new things on how to make people to do what I want them to do…. Haha..

So, that’s all I have to say for now. Somehow I still can’t celebrate my independence from high school since I don’t know if I passed yet but yeah. We’ll see in July 6.

falling down the stairs kinda hurts

Studying

It’s going good. Been studying Biology and Economics for the past week. However I didn’t go to any of my morning classes this week because I just wasn’t physically capable of waking up so freaking early in the morning.. but yeah, today was suppose to be the last day of classes, but noooo… I have extra Biology and Economics classes next week for 3 days, thank god it’s in the afternoon though.

University

Now I’m having second thoughts. My first choice is in a very small town here in Denmark. The thought of living in a small town depresses me. I have two options:

1) Live in the small town and be miserable.

2) Live in the big city but have to travel an hour to go to school.

being miserable VS waking up early in the morning??

That’s a tough one.

Oh well, I don’t have to think about it now, hell, I don’t even know if I’ll get my first choice!

Anyways… enough school talk.

Life

It’s going good. I can’t believe I’m soo close to being done with school. In less than a month I’ll be done with all my exams. ALL MY EXAMS. When I think about it it’s still pretty distant, but when I really think about it it’s soo close. To add on to it, right after graduation my friends and I are off to China and Philippines, now that’s something I really can’t wait for.. The sand, the beach, the parties, the weather.. ahhh…. But in the middle of our vacation we’ll find out how bad me fucked up in our exams if we passes the IB.

Anticipation is a bitch.

Love

Under construction.

Craving:

Oreos, Ice cream, and fermented tofu. Oreos I managed to buy with the coins I found under my pocket. The rest I just have to keep dreaming about.

Basically, I’m alive and breathing and in debt. Waiting desperately for my student support money and my pay check.

Take care and have a nice weekend